he likes my cooking!

Sam’s low energy and not eating kinda started to freak us out. It can’t be happening this quickly can it? Wait… maybe he just doesn’t like this new fishy kibble and feels like crap because he isn’t eating… well I can fix that.

Last night dinner was fresh salmon, cheddar cheese omelet with eggs from the girls. Mixed into the kibble. I hand fed it to him and he spit the kibble out but he ate the eggs. Okay, I happen to have an egg factory in my garden… eggs it is. Oh, and he ate half of my tenderloin steak that the hunny cooked for us after the omelet. But he ate it all.

This am he got the same omelet with only a little kibble sprinkled into it. I had to give him a little by hand, but he ended up eating all of it. Me, i warmed up a day old cup of coffee. That was my breakfast… something about priorities?

He came to work with me today and was much perkier than yesterday. But a little tummy trouble told me it was too much of a good thing.

Tonight he got brown rice and lean hamburger. He helped himself to a whole bowlful and then asked for seconds… then he begged the hunny to let him lick the pot!

So, today was a good day. Here is to hoping for another one tomorrow. I’ve still got salmon in the fridge and eggs in the chickens. What should we cook tomorrow?

Right now he is standing by his bowl asking for more. I think we will go to bed instead. 🙂

out, out damn spot…

Sam wasn’t feeling so great today.  His energy seemed low and he hasn’t eaten kibble in a day or two, turkey and flying dutchman he will eat, kibble not so much.  Today was also the big chest X ray and chemo #5… The news we got was not the news we wanted, but the big “C” doesn’t play fair and it wasn’t unexpected.

One tiny spot in his lungs has become three, one of them significant and likely the cause of his cough that we noticed last week.  Dr. S advised us not to continue with chemo, because of how fast the mets have advanced, even while on the carbo.  So, no number 5 for our pup…  he came home instead.  Dr. S really doesn’t have any other recommendation for us.  We could try all sorts of things, but they all have side effects and there isn’t any science that she knows of to support putting him through it.  So, he came home with the advice to spoil the crap out of him for as long as we have left, which likely won’t be long but we don’t know that.  It is between Sam and the course of nature at this point and I am back to the prayer of please, please, just make it obvious when it is time.

I am sad.  I’m afraid my game face has not been good today.  I keep finding my brain thinking about things in the future and recognizing that Sam will likely not be there in body to join me for them.  It is unimaginable.  For 10 years I have poured so much of my heart into this one love, that I am worried I will be a shell of a person when he has to take it with him.  In truth, he can have all of it if it will help.  Now is not the time to worry about the future.

Now that he is off the chemo – we can load him up on the antioxidents and suppliements he couldn’t have during treatment, just to give Sam as much nutrition in his arsenal as possible.  He alone will be fighting this, but we have his back for as long as he needs it.

Until then, I plan to spoil the crap out of my dog. No more worrying about what he gets from the table or how many treats he has eaten tonight. No more yucky kibble when there is turkey in the fridge and steak in the freezer. (actually there is a big slab of salmon on the counter – guess who gets some of that tonight) 🙂  This weekend we will figure out how to warm the pool so he can keep swimming until he doesn’t feel like swimming anymore.  The long hours at work can wait and when they can’t, he will come with me. Nobody can say “no” to this three legged, big brown eyed dog with the horrible dog breath, not even me anymore.

It will be the 30 days of Christmas around here.  Every day will be a gift and we will focus on that.  No more sad blogs, for as long as he is with us.


Thankful for 3 month ampuversary!

As if Thanksgiving isn’t exciting enough… three months today, baby!

Our house has been full of life and love (and turkey). Usually it is only Samdog, us pawrents, and the three chicken sisters around the ranchito. For the last week we added 4 more adults, one young short person, two more dogs, and a cat to the homestead.

It has been great. Sam would like to add that there was turkey too.

He has been doing great! 4 chemos down and another one next week. We also get a chest xray to look at that dang spot to see if it has changed. I refuse to admit it out loud, but in writing it is worth noting that I am hearing a cough. He coughed before and I should not worry until we look st the chest film again, but I do.

Sam spent time swimming yesterday with his pal Millie. Too cold for humans but it was pretty good for retrievers. Sorry we didn’t get pix.

After Sam was done swimming and we took off the float coat, he decided he wasn’t done and went back in without it. He had to rescue tennis balls for another 20 minutes or so. Somebody had to, Millie was having trouble using the steps to get in the pool and she was too nervous to jump in. She is a country girl, used to swimming in real ponds, not cement ones.

We must have over done it though, because when Sam came out his teeth were chattering and we were having trouble warming him up. He looked like a beached whale in the living room with 4 towels and 2 blankets layered over him with me snuggling and he still shivered for about an hour. I admit, it frightened us all a little. Then I got smart and threw some towels in the dryer to warm them up. We peeled back the layers, added the warm towels then layered him back up. The shivering slowed down and he fell asleep still looking like a big red seal under the blankets. When he woke up, the blankets were so heavy, he couldn’t shake them off and stand up. Hah.

So, here is a question… Sam spent all summer swimming in nearly frozen water without trouble. The air temp was colder in the sierras in summer than here in AZ yesterday… does carbo effect his ability to thermoregulate? Why would he have been shivering so badly yesterday? It is a mystery for now… I am thankful we are back to doing great today. We even went swimming, but for less time.

We are also thankful for friends who are family and our community here at tripawds. Oh, and Sam would again like to add… and for turkey.

Hoppy Three month ampuversary to Samdog and Hoppy Thanksgiving to you all!