So, if the surgeon is crying as she leaves the consult, is that a game face fail?
Today is the day. We left Sam at the hospital this morning. Unfortunately, we held our game face right up until they asked us to take our collar off so they could put their lead on. At that moment, he knew… something was up and I wasn’t coming with him. That broke me. Which made my husband break, which in turn made our surgeon cry.
She tried to hide it, but the vet tech came in and asked us what we did to her doctor… which made us laugh – but the damage was done. Sam wouldn’t leave me. I had to walk him to the door, through the door and into the hospital hallway before there was enough space between us that the vet techs could convince him he needed to go the other way.
Once he was behind the closed door – we both lost it, big time. I think the whole hospital was crying with us and we owe them a box of kleenex.
Today, I am grateful that I am a logical person. We took all the facts layed them out in front of us and made the right decision. It IS the right decision, and yet my heart is screaming “go back, you can stop this… your dog is still whole. go back!” The argument between my head and my heart is enough to make me feel like I am going to explode. I am not going back, not until tomorrow night – maybe not until Saturday.
My dog is already broken – just because we can’t see it doesn’t mean cancer isn’t there. We caught it early enough that we can’t see it. That is a good thing. When I get him back – he may look different, walk different, but I know in my heart his eyes will be the same.
Still, right now, my heart is screaming.
Oh sweetie, my folks remember those feelings very well. To be in charge of such a life-altering decision for a dog who cannot do it for himself is just gut-wrenching and so scary. But trust me, when you see him looking so happy to be free of that bum leg, you will be reassured it was the right decision. Until then, know that we are all thinking of you and sending good vibes for a successful surgery and quick recovery.
Maggie had mast cell cancer in the soft tissues around her knee… no pain, no limping. How can amputation be the solution to this problem??
Remember- what you are taking away from Sam is pain and what you are giving him is a chance for quality time with you.
And I bet his eyes will at least be the same- maybe brighter! Dogs are really good at hiding bone pain and after surgery (and all the meds) they are happier with the pain gone.
You might want to look at some post op pictures so you know what to expect, there are some in the Tripawd Gallery.
Keep us posted on progress.
Karen and the pugapalooza
I’d second what Karen said – you might want to look at some photos.
Is Sam staying overnight? We had to go pick Abby up shortly after her amp and move her ourselves to an overnight hospital (we could have taken her home, but we thought she’d be more comfortable on the IV pain meds for the night). When we saw her right after surgery it was quite a shock (even though our vet warned us that she looked like Frankenstein’s dog – it was right before Halloween, and the incision was a large Y shape). She was panting and out of it from all the meds.
But… the next morning when we went to pick her up, she hopped out greet us and was all smiles. What a difference that extra 15 or so hours made.
So – if you do see him soon after surgery be ready for that. But if you aren’t picking him up until tomorrow I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised when you see him – he’ll be so happy to see you and vice versa, that that’s all that’s going to matter!
Hang in there!
Jackie
Sending positive thoughts to Sam today! As for his soon-to-be missing leg, believe me, that will be the last thing you think about when you go see him. I remember we dropped off Max on a Saturday night, surgery was early Sunday morning. We were not allowed to visit him that day because the doctor wanted him to rest. I told my husband I was going to leave work at lunchtime and see him on Monday. John was so nervous of how I would react, he called the hospital (without my knowledge!!) to “warn” them I was coming and possibly there would be some “problems”. I got there and they brought Max out of the cage. All I saw was Max pulling that (not so strong) nurse across the floor to get to me! Don’t worry about that leg. It was a bum leg, and Sam will be better off without it. Be sure and tell your boy how many people in the Tripawd Nation are thinking about him and wishing him well! And then look into his eyes and tell him how much you love him. All you’ll see is your beautiful boy looking back at you.
You’ll be so happy to get Sam back that the fact that he only has 3 legs won’t really even faze you at all. We were overjoyed when we picked up Hunter, he was the same happy dog we’ve had for over 8 years and his eyes were definitely brighter!
Thinking pawsitive thoughts for Sam!
It’s always hard to leave them when they are having surgery, but it sounds like Sam is healthy and happy in all other respects (especially the clear lungs) so I’m sure he will be fine. I’ll be watching for updates. I’m not sure how I missed your previous posts so sorry that my well wishes are a little belated.
I know it is hard to believe but you will be in awe at how wonderful Sam looks and feels when he gets rid of that painful leg. Magnum’s eyes were dull with pain when we took her to the hospital for her amputation. But when we saw her 1 day after her op she was so happy and full of bubbly enthusiasm. Her eyes were dulled by pain killers but once she came off them she was her normal self and the spark was back in her eyes.
And, the missing leg…… well I thought Magnum looked beautiful with 3 legs. It’s taken me more time to adjust to our new dog having 4 legs than it took adjusting to Magnum having 3 legs!
Keep us posted.
Karen and Spirit Magnum
You will be so proud of Sam when you see him adapt to 3 legs as if he had always had 3 legs.
What great posts! I am so glad Sam, Andy and Matt have support from folks like you! I was worried about some of these things and didn’t know how to say them…. thanks. Andy, this is just a different journey than you expected… but there are still many adventures ahead. Looking back over the dogs that have shared my life I can point to a lesson or lessons and expereinces with each that were so important to me being the person I am…. and almost always not what I would have expected…. Riki’s lesson was courage and detemrination… I supsect Kiri’s is going to be patience…